On Transitions: Riding the Winds of Change

Final moments in my Brooklyn apartment before hitting the road. (2021)

Change is hard. Change is scary. 

Well of course it can be – new people, places, or things. New realities, hard goodbyes, and uncomfortable hellos. The feeling in your stomach that feels like a knot (or gas) and butterflies at the same time representing both your nerves and [hopefully at least a little] excitement. Change. 

The truth is – we, like the nature around us, are always in a state of transition. Our minds, bodies, and lives are continuously in a process of developing, embodying, evolving, and shedding. Change looks and feels different for each of us. A great many factors will influence our speed, mindset, direction, and destination of any transition, but one fact remains, the shifts in life are inevitable. Like swimming or kayaking in a river, the advice given is not go against the stream and instead accept and flow. But of course, that’s also the hard part. In life and in a river.

Good news for you, I tend to do well at either voluntarily evoking or magically manifesting major life changes [seemingly on a whim] and following where the path takes me. I can report that it gets easier. 

From sleeping in a hut and learning to make chocolate on a cacao farm in Costa Rica for 7 weeks to driving cross country over 3 weeks from Brooklyn – to Oakland for a slow transition into a new way of life – to my colorful 15+ year career journey of uniquely strung together roles across 3 major cities (and a few far away countries) – to learning to live with an autoimmune disease – to even deciding to loc my hair over the last 9 years – the winds of change and I are good friends.  

Signs: Friendly reminder on one of my last walks in Brooklyn (2021)

I’ve found a special challenge, beauty, and perhaps even a rhythm in navigating moments of transition. I have even learned to notice when a sweeping energy of change blows through and how to mostly not panic. The trick is to move through transitions, and life really, with a loose but clear plan to guide your way forward. 

Approaching the 4th anniversary of my 3rd cross country move and separately navigating a heightened time of multiple big shifts, I’m reflecting on what my past periods of transitions have in common and how I’ve unintentionally but beautifully developed a process for cultivating comfort when change is abound.

Maybe, just maybe, it can help you as you follow your own path. Here we go .. 

A Wild Woman’s Tips for Navigating Life's Transitions

Vision 

Craft a vision of what you're creating or changing for yourself. Imagine your ideal outcomes and what you want to come out of the transition. Actually take time to think and dream about this. Write it down. I am an avid list maker and mind mapper.  

Actual mind map I created to plot my big move in 2021.

Release Release the tight hold and unrealistic expectations. Release the “shoulds” and “supposed tos” that make you feel like you’re perpetually wrong or behind. Release other people’s plans for you. Release what you’ve been conditioned to believe is the one way you’re supposed to find success. Release so you can hear your own voice. Release the how so that powers beyond you can carry you forward. Honest introspection, journaling, and meditation help here. 

Choose

Progress happens when we decide – when we actually make the choice. Uncertainty keeps us in a perpetual cycle and unable to go forward. Decide to live a good life. Decide what you want to come next. You can change your mind, but making a choice breaks the loop and helps clarify next steps. Roll some dice or flip a coin if you need to – but choose. Something will happen.  

Trust 

Trust the process and your inner-knowing. We often ignore that voice or have never learned to actually listen to it, but this is incredibly important and rewarding. Trust your vision for yourself and cultivate a trust with the universe that you are held and that all things happen in your favor – even when not according to plan. This is a really good muscle to develop.

More Signs: Stumbled across this in Brooklyn days before moving to Oakland. (2021)

Practice

Practice trust. Practice having joy. Practice living well. Practice courage. All of life is a practice – an act of showing up for yourself. Even when you know what to do, the work is remembering to practice. Practices (and routines) can guide even the bumpiest of transitions along with more ease. Living a life you love is a practice and so is doing hard things. You can do it and accountability buddies makes practice easier.   

Bask

Sometimes we’re so busy transitioning or aiming to achieve the next things, we forget to smell the roses. Stop and look around and enjoy your work or journey thus far – sure, maybe take notes – but for a moment just f*cking relax. Even if it’s not the end goal and you can’t stop now. Breathe. Transitions are ultimately moving you into your next phase of being, so remember to be there in it when it arrives. 

In Oakland enjoying the Redwoods and big sky I moved for. (2025)

Repeat 

Repeat as needed on a daily basis, weekly, or long term basis. At the time of writing this, I’m actually activating these steps again in my own life.

Whether change is thrust upon you or you seek it out, whether it’s a big shift or a tiny tweak, grounding in a vision and a plan for what you seek to achieve will ultimately help you navigate inevitable uncertainties, feelings of self-doubt, and even the blessings. 

Octavia Butler said, “God is Change.” 

Another wise person on the internet or a podcast said, “Let go or be dragged.” 

I offer my wisdom as light on your path through whatever comes your way. 

You got the juice. 

Fun Thought: I'm already thinking of a Part 2 -- including finding joy, community, and wellness in the midst of big transitions.